"Greet all the saints in Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me send greetings. All the saints send you greetings, especially those who belong to Caesar's household." (Philippians 4:21-22)
When we are young, the relationships that we form are almost entirely without limits. Everyone loves the baby. A baby or young child forms a connection with adults - with their parents but also with their aunts and uncles. They also form a connections with teenagers or young adults (particularly in a Church context) - they meet neighbours and others in the community. They even form connections with the elderly - with their grandparents, older uncles and aunts and so on. And of course, they form connections with other children as they go to things like play groups and preschool (and school).
It's interesting then that as we get more mature, we become less open to relationships outside of our own age group. It makes sense though that we gravitate towards the people whom we have the most in common with. And really this rule isn't even something that is applied only to age groups, but also between personalities, preferences and backgrounds in general. In deciding who our close friends are for example, we choose those whom we get along with well. It's just the way it is.
But should it really be this way? At the end of Philippians 4, Paul closes his letter by relating the well wishes of those who are with him. It is an expression of love and concern from one group of Christians to another. And it begs the question, why. Why does this group bother to send their greetings to people they most likely do not even know? I think the clue is in the description of the people they are writing to. In the first part of verse 21 it describes those receiving the greetings as "saints" and likewise in the first part of verse 22, those sending the greetings are also named, "saints". It would appear then that they have this wilful concern and love for each other because they are united by their common belief in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. To put it another way, their differences do not impede or get in the way of their relationships with one another because their shared identity in Christ is more significant.
It raises the question for us - where or when do we allow human differences to supersede our togetherness? Sadly I think the place this is most visible is actually in the local church! We make friends with those who are like us and as the church is filled with all sorts of different people, it is inevitable that groups and cliques emerge. But are these groups helpful? Do they edify and encourage the whole so that we are all more and more like Christ?
I think we would agree that they can be. There is something particularly moving about the support and love of a close group of friends. And yet, if we observe carefully, I think we would find that these cliques are often so exclusive that the love and support that Christians are meant to provide each other is typically not available to anyone outside the circle. It's a case where closeness, has become a 'closedness'. Where our familiarity and comfortableness with our friends prevents our desire and willingness to begin, build and nurture relationship with others.
You can have close friends, but you can be close with them anytime. Spare a thought for those who do not have a circle around them so easily, and help them become close, by being open and initiating relationship with them.
So let's ask ourselves some honest questions. Who do you consider to be beyond relationship? Is it those who are much younger than you? Is it those who are much older? Perhaps it is someone who does not share your interests, or perhaps it's simply someone you've never spoken to. What topics of conversations are you constantly having, which stop some from joining in?
We can all do our little bit. Perhaps there is room for us all to open our circles such that we are all part of the one.